Sunday, November 27, 2011

Change

On meeting my school friends whom I haven't seen in more than a year:

Will they recognize me? I wouldn't recognize myself. My inner self tells me to stop this nonsense. It's just a social visit what will they not recognize? They won't penetrate through my soul and see how it's been battered. (Battered? A bit dramatic wouldn't you say?)

But I can't help thinking that they will encounter a different person. Not the impulsive lsanha-metbari-menha girl I used to be back in school. While I had the world's doors all open before me. I don't know why I like to think that I've changed. I'm not a school girl anymore, of course I've changed. I had no responsibilities back then.

They were all the same. I found some of my old care-free self with them. There aren't deep oceans of worries between us. Nor is there any contempt at the world for making us all go in a direction different than the other. We have not that deep relationship where we weep the distance from each other.

Meeting them again brought back the best times I had in a dreary school. The girlish gossip and giggles. Where our biggest disappointment of the day was when one of us asked if any has seen a particular teacher and one confirms seeing her in the morning. And our biggest joy was when a teacher missed out a lesson. Life had a pattern then, we went to school, came back home, slept and woke up again. We knew what to expect.

I might not see them again in a year or more. Maybe an occasional shlonech text but that's it. Seeing them in person makes it all up. It's like we're school girls again making fun of each other and laughing over silly memories.

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