A friend of mine posted
photos from her childhood. I viewed them with envy. I wish I had pictures of my
childhood. Maybe I have some but they're somewhere in Iraq. And then I started
wondering if I've had a fun childhood. I've lived the first 7 years of my life
in Iraq. All the memories I have of that time are very dear to me. Me and Noor
(my twin sister) running to welcome baba when he came home from work and he'd
drop the bags he's carrying and carry us both instead. This had to be somewhere
before 1997 (as he left Iraq that year for better work opportunities and
therefore be able to support us better) which means that I was 5. I remember
being the girl who always fainted, broke her hair slides when she was angry and
was the "evil" twin.
I remember leaving my friends and going to Jordan when I was 7. I remember writing letters to my best friend (who stayed in Iraq). I haven't heard from her in years.
When
most Iraqis suffered from power cuts, we never did as the area we lived in was
supplied by the same supply for nearby factories. I remember how my
grandmother, may her soul rest in peace, used complain of her eyesight and
still be able to recognize actors on tv. I remember when it was damp after a
light pour of rain, we used to go out in the garden and find colorful ladybirds
on bright green leaves. I remember sleeping in one place and waking up in
another and being convinced that I sleep walked.
But
I never learnt how to ride a bicycle, how to swim, how to dance ballet. I've
had best friends who left me or I left them as either moved to a different
country. I felt like an outsider. And that feeling stayed with me for a long
time. I still remember leaving Iraq in 1999 and how we stopped in the middle of
nowhere because we ran out of petrol. How my sister buried her face through it
all because she didn't want to leave Iraq.
Maybe
these don't qualify my childhood to be called happy but I wasn't sad when I was
a kid, I didn't know any better, and going to exotic places doesn't make it a
'happy' childhood. When my older siblings talk about the wonderful playful
childhood they've had as they lived in better times. But still the fact that I
spent 7 years of it in Iraq brings me immense joy. I love it whether it was
boring or not.
