I feel empty at times, with nothing to offer. No solid opinion or firm voice. Maybe that's why my first instinct is to hide things. I wouldn't tell you how you made me feel. Nor that I cried, nor the fact that your words kept playing in my head. If I had control over myself, I wouldn't show any emotion. I'd just live them out inside and forget. Forget what happened or what you said and how you made me feel and move on.
If I told you how I felt and what I think, I fear exposing myself and have nothing left for myself in the end. I go by like nothing happened. I don't know why I feel this way, why I keep a keen eye on what I share.
Thinking I'd feel less empty if I kept something to myself. Sometimes it's not even that. But I feel like if I shared how I feel it'd mean less than it does. How I felt at the moment, my tears and all of it may seem silly in a way. I wouldn't want to laugh it off if I tell you, just to make light of the situation. Because knowing me, I would do such a thing. That's why I don't say anything, to avoid doing that.
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