Knowledge is Attractive

It's true that I'm in the medical field, and I know a lot of things about diseases and drugs. At least more than the average person. Although most of my professors would disagree and tell you that I'm clueless but take it from me, I know a thing or two. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this to brag or show you my vast knowledge. In fact, I think because I'm in this field, I'm only focused on it. I don't know anything about anything that has nothing to do with medicine which might be ok to some because hey, I'm gonna be a doctor soon, who cares about everything else?

I find those who have interest and knowledge about different subjects and fields, attractive. But also I find them intimidating. 

I follow some on twitter, for example. I'd be an avid follower of their tweets, and I might favourite some of them. But never would I reply or discuss anything with them. Same goes to people I know in real life. I wouldn't really argue or ask them questions. Because hey I wouldn't want to show them my ignorance. And a 5 minute conversation (or probably less) would show them how limited my knowledge about things is. 

One thing that I'm also not happy about is that I'm not a question-er of things, and even on the few occasions that I am, I don't care enough to put an effort to find an answer. So yes I do wish I was knowledgable but more than that I wish I showed interest in things or challenged myself and questioned them. 

A Take on Making Mistakes

Is it better to be weighed down by mistakes? Or be oblivious to them?

What if learning from our mistakes isn't true and that it's just something we say to convince ourselves that we evolve and move forward?

What if we never move forward and stay right where we are, yet we paint a different scene around us and believe the illusion we created as a new better place we have lead ourselves to? Then we rejoice in the fact that we're such superior creatures on this earth who are ever changing their place.

I go on making the same mistakes. Do you too?

You're a Tree

Picture this, you're a tree. Big, steady, solid. Your branches may sway with the wind, but you're always in the same place. People count on you, they find shelter in you for sometime and then move on in their path. And you stay.

They find you in full bloom, it shifts their mood, changes their state of mind, they stop sulking even if only temporarily. They don't acknowledge you. You don't mind.

They find you with your yellow leaves falling. You're drying up. They find it inspiring. So they write poems and songs describing you but we both know, they mean themselves even if they don't realize it. Self-centered, they are. Again, you don't mind.

They find you all dried up. If you're covered by snow, they might forgive what they call as your ugly state, they might not. You're bare to everyone. You look for shelter. Don't find any.

They complain of how quickly you keep changing. You object that it's still the same you on the inside. But they never notice. You want to tell them that you're allowed to feel just as much they are entitled to. Yet, you act like you don't mind.

Inspired by:
We all are leaves to someone, we help them revitalize. And we all are a tree to someone, we help them survive.

To tell or not to tell

There's nothing that I wouldn't want to tell you about.

That's what the song says. How beautiful is it though, to fully expose yourself to someone with complete trust.

I always wondered what is ok to disclose about yourself and what isn't. There's no guidebook which tells you, go ahead you can share that or no keep it to yourself.

I'm already very reserved. Which I haven't decided yet if it's a good or bad thing. Most of the things I disclose are said on an impulse, which of course more than half of the time it's followed by regret.

I also worry about what people think of me, more than I should. Which minimizes the things I say to them even more. Most don't know me very well, so I worry they see me as a bad person.

Have that one person, who knows you so well and you can tell them anything and everything. Be safe with them and be silent to the rest.

لا تهتمي

عزيزتي هدى 

تحية و حب لكِ

ولكن

لا تسأليهم عن شيء

لا تطلبي تفسير 

لا تضغطي على أحد

لا تغضبي منهم 

لا تعتبي عليهم 

لا تنفعلي

لا تظهري خيبة أملك 

لا تثوري 

لا تنصحيهم 

لا تجادليهم 

هذا ما يريدون 

لا يدرون أنهم يطلبون منكِ

أن

لا تهتمي 

دعيهم

عزيزتي هدى

تحية لك 

أنا اسفة لأنك تتعلمين أحد الدروس الصعبة في الحياة حاليا. هذا أمر لابد منه. 

دعي من حولك يختارون ما يريدون. دعيهم يقررون ما يناسبهم. ليس من المفروض عليهم أن يأخذوا رأي من يحبون بعين الاعتبار. خصوصا في الأمور التي تخصهم وحدهم. أعرف بأنك تقلقين عليهم و لكن دعيهم، لديهم كامل الحرية بهذا الشيء لذلك عليهم تحمل العواقب. 

انتِ تعلمين أكثر من أي أحد أننا كلنا معرضون للخطأ و كلنا نخطئ، ولكن أخطائنا تختلف بطبيعتها و بحجمها و بتأثيرها علينا أو على من حولنا. 

دعيهم يا هدى. لا تتدخلي كثيرا. أعرف أنك تُفهمين خطأ و قد أصبحتِ لا تكترثين بتصحيح الظنون. من حولك يجيدون التعبير عن مشاعرهم وانتِ لا. 

دعيهم... 

Dream

Dreams can be nice

They can make up for what's missing 

Give you more time with loved ones

Let you relive the good memories

Allow you to make amends

Take you to new places 

Take you to old ones

Give you second chances

So dream 

Dream a little dream of me.