A ready laugh

Writing for the sake of writing. Wishing I can write beautifully and express my feelings the exact way they are. I can't but I'll attempt to all the same.

It's nice having someone interested in what you're saying. Who's interested in getting to know you. Someone who dedicate some of thoughts to you and tells you I think you're like this or that. When you compliment yourself for awhile and you talk yourself out of many feelings and you feel like you're all by yourself, it's nice when someone actually wants to talk to you and wants to share things with you. You feel like they're highlighting you from everyone they know, maybe not always, but at that moment. And you feel special. It feels good.

You know what I seem to be appreciating lately? Those people who's laugh is ready at the tip of their lips. They laugh easily but not in a way that they're silly. No but their laugh is rather a true one not a fake one. Those ready to be amused by what you say. I like that.

Goodnight world.

Just Me

I'm not a writer. That I know. Not an avid reader. I wouldn't call myself a bookworm. But I write and read nevertheless. Words either come out without thinking or after over-thinking. That's why they're either rushed, or they're as slow as a snail to shape themselves into thoughts.

"He really had completely changed his opinion, though quite unconsciously; so desirous was he to comply with the wishes of others."

I'm afraid that's me sometimes, most of my opinions change themselves without me realising it. This among many other flaws of mine are beginning to surface. I'm trying not to let them all attack me at the same time, I'm being nice to them. But I'm not sure if they'll do the same.

Maybe I don't offer much, what I say could be a repetition of words I've said before. But one thing I know for sure is that I'm consistent. And when I stop being that at times it's because I either feel unappreciated or tired.

Longing-mixed thoughts

Here on this bed, through this window, years ago, I was consoled by the moon. Where he befriended me and showed up every night to watch over me. But I closed the window, left my bed, left this whole town. But the moon went along with me the whole journey. It ran as fast as it could to keep up. I never thought I'd come back here once in a blue moon.

I've lived here for almost 9 years. Maybe spent 8 years in this room where I befriended the moon. This room where I'm left alone to do what I want. To think that a few years back I couldn't wait to be out of here. Now I find myself longing for it every once and awhile. Funny how life works.

I'm here now, I need the moon again. I need to feel special again. I need comforting words. I need a spontaneous I miss you.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Oman Mobile!

No me

I search through your memories and try to find me there
To no avail
I look through mine, and you fill them

To S

She cried bitterly. Right there in front of us all. And all I could say was meaningless words. I wanted to get up, go to her and give her a hug, maybe it'd express what I wanted to say but couldn't. But I didn't, something held me back. I just sat there, and I looked at those next to her who claim to love hugs, why didn't they hug her? But could I really blame them when I, myself, failed to comfort her? I'm sorry.

سنيني

يا سنيني 
اجمعيني
بمن يملك حنيني 

يا صديقي 
احميني
مما يفنيني

يا عيوني 
لا تخوني
ما أخفيه عن كوني 

يا سمائي 
لا تباهي 
بما يزهو ببالي

Tired of myself

You can't blame me for feeling whatever it is I'm feeling. I can't help it.

I've always implored myself to keep quiet and let things go. But it won't listen to me, it always betrays me and says everything I've been trying to hide. I know blaming people does no good. But however silly the thing is, I end up saying it. People have their reasons for the things they do, mostly. I often end up feeling like it's my fault in the first place to be upset. That's how I work. The only person feeling guilty in the end is me. I'm left with doubts and insecurities as ancient as I am. And I know if they have any plans of leaving, they would have ages ago. But no, these insecurities are too attached to me. But I'm tired of myself and of people, of this feeling of guilt. I want to take a break of it. I don't want everything turning up against me and making me feel worse.

I'm not very good at cheering myself up. But I'm trying my best. Then a word gets thrown my way dismantles everything. But I'm really trying.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Oman Mobile!